Rydia

JAMES Crazy, maybe, but at least their specialty isn't blue - jobs. Guys never flocked to me in high school, and I didn't hang out with them in college to ...

Crit for Chapter two: It was only [You've used only quite a bit so I'd suggest changing it to 'just' or even removing it as you've made it clear the ...

This is good. I have to agree that the hospital scene could have been a little better. It's not that it wasn't realistic, more that it was stereotypically realistic. It ...

You can press the button by the door and I'll come," said Derik, getting of the bed and brushing off the back of his suit. "Besides, I'm on a role ...

D was laughing his ass off by the time Grif walked all the way back to the base. He handed him the money and said, “You have no idea how ...

I think this could have been more descriptive but it's good and I think it will work perfectly! It really catches the reader's attention and I think they will certainly ...

A few small suggestions first - It was only natural that I would run out of places to explore eventually, [Maybe a semi colon here?] the island only had so ...

Sincere apologies for locking the thread, I didn't check the link properly. However, I'd like to inform you of the rule to review two pieces before posting your own. You're ...

You killed her? Man, that really sucks! Lol, only kidding but in all seriousness, she was a good bad guy, uh girl XD This was a pretty good chapter. I'm ...

The quality continues to be brilliant. I absolutely adore the part with the mouse and when Sunshine is complaining about Tigerlily killing things. It almost reminds me of a conversation ...

Becker furrows his brow and begrudgingly moves to the desk[s] and[/s] , pulling out a chair. Luke grabs the backpack about to fall of f James ' shoulder and sets ...

I love how Ann is really starting to take control of everything and the scene with Simone and Luke was just so perfect. Seriously, how do you think up these ...

This flows really well in places but some of the lines feel a touch out of place; I think it needs just a little tidying up. For example, in your ...

LENA Yeah, we'll miss you…I'm sure Luke will to o , even if he isn't here. This was filled with great scenes and was Jeremy really about to fire one ...

SUNSHINE I don't have a door [s]so[/s] and we didn't want anyone to see. I really have no criticism of this, it's wonderful. I love the theme of the budget ...