RoxanneR

Sometimes, a poem's rhyme seems forced, but most of the time it worked really well in this poem. It didn't have to rhyme, but it sounded good so I wouldn't ...

And the only words he spoke were, Don't wait up for me tonight. Should this be: And the only words he spoke were, 'Don't wait up for me tonight.' This ...

The start of the story didn't really make me want to read more of it. The characters didn't really have personalities and the dialogue had severe problems. It's just a ...

Yeh, I agree with what Don Quixote said. Also, if you spaced the text out a bit, it would be easier to read and therefore less boring. No one wants ...

The Night ot remember is the night where you feel you can do anything you could possibly dream of doing. Do you mean: The Night to remember? Is there any ...

It's a touching subject, and it reads and sounds a whole lot better with the paragraphs, as I just skipped over the best bits in the first edit. Was the ...

Nice work, even though it should be in a poetry forum. Just a couple of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes: The way I look. My back so bare feathery wings ...

That is a good piece of work, although double-spacing on paragraphs would make it a whole lot easier to read. You have missed out some of the commas, but I ...

This isn't bad, although the length of the first sentence was a bit disturbing! Try breaking it down into two sentences for lighter reading. "Yea honey i'll be home in ...

This isn't bad, but some of the grammer is a bit strange, and it is all squashed together. Try double-spacing your paragraphs, starting any new speaker's dialogue on a new ...

This piece was interesting, if a little unerving! That is exacaly like my printer at home, and it's starting to worry be a little, what with the voices and the ...

It's a good story, and Ralph seems just like an annoying little brother. Did you base him on your own sibling? Darry is an interesting character, the way he retaliates ...

Yeh, I agree with Miss POKE. There are a few bits that need to be touched up, but it looked good. But as for your grammer, there wasn't much of ...

Some of the stuff it a little unclear, but I need more to go on to decide if I want the read the rest! But I agree with Snoink. Why ...

It's interesting, I'll give you that. Some of the grammer is a bit strange, but what I found amazing is how many alian-sounding names you thought up! I can't even ...