RoryLegend

Disregard this is being shredded up and rewritten...and turned into a script..Think is no more..thanks for reading it while it lasted

NOTICE: Some of the writing in this chapter and future chapters may be a little confusing just because I edited the first two chapters and am continuing from the edits ...

Yes, i was having a problem with that, I just don't know how to fix it. I wanted to make it seem like the father was saying it regrettfully, like ...

Hey guys I edited it and really changed a lot of what the story is in a sence to how I had it before, so this is like the third ...

Ah yes Edward as in Edward cullen..I don't know I just thought the name was fitting..I think i have officially given up on it survived about four days..I think that's ...

Thanks for the crits..I wrote it really late at night and I typed it in word document and it has some pressets that change words around, i dont know it ...

I really like the line "Build me up to break me down" it was a really good line..bravo..sorry all I got for you now...keep writing!

YAY! *claps* this was really good..original...a really really really good story. Good job, I applaud you being comfortable with writing something like this.

thanks to everyone for the crits, I'm glad most of you liked it! It is only like the second poem I have written.

Good, good. I just felt like the end wasn't really powerful, like it wasn't meant to end there. And there were a few parts that were oddly broken up. I ...

I just had a hard time with following the flow of it, because of how you divided everything up...Also there were a few lines I just didn't get..but I guess ...

I liked it, I kind of don't get the message/point but who says it has to have one or be clear, this is your writing. I love that you used ...

I actually really liked it, I could create a mental image in my head and relate the words to pictures. Bravo =]

I FREAKING LOVE YOU FOR WRITING THIS! haha sorry I just love it so much.. WRITE MORE OR I WILL THREATEN YOU WITH BIG WORDS!