Ronald559

(*q)There once was a man, a man fifty years of age. This man had two daughters. His firstborn daughters name was Kyrie. She was exquisitely beautiful in every physical way ...

Thanks, but actually the land is dark and dead. It's the idea that this land is actually magical but really its not. It's a wasteland. The only thing accurate about ...

T.S. Eliot and the Wasteland disagree about coming up it with yourself. :D Kidding. Oh okay thanks. Will be doing that.

1 more thing. The title is, Sweet Nights in Cold Kansas. Just that there Sweet night. It is a sweet night isn't it. Beautiful, and the natural part of the ...

And thank you for the review. It definitely got me thinking about things. And you make good points. :)

Could you elaborate on your first point? I like the calmness of the beginning. The marshall has him cornered in this cabin but he feels more comfortable taking him in ...

You say to change the word rested. I agree I should. But what you suggest is subdue, when actually the word I'm looking for is the opposite. Imagine a land ...

First of all, thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it. (Hope you got the meaning of it. And your review was really helpful. I'm going to do most ...

Oh, okay. Yeah I didn't know how people did that. Thanks.

Oh yeah I forgot nice profile picture. I'm showing my little sis The Last Airbender currently. She loves it so far. (She's a victim of modern children's entertainment. Sam and ...

"Igen, I am done," the man responded, sliding out of bed." The man responded, what man? This is the unclear part. If it's one of the brothers just say his ...

The Deputy Wyatt asked, his eyes were lost in the dark sky full of stars. Missing a coma here. Thanks. :) I'll look for the sentence breaks and fix them ...

Tree boy is imaginary. Ohh, that makes sense. Sad. You probably made that more clear in past chapters but I always like to pick out a particular scene I've written ...

The last sentence is dialogue. There are less rules but I'll edit that anyway. And where in the first paragraph? I'm studying to get a masters in english. So I'm ...

Revise. Revise. Revise. That's writing. But do as you wish.