Rhiannon

O.O Wow... I totally love how this seems to be turning out. It's so intense yet light-hearted at the same time. I'm kind of confused though, if they broke up ...

Well... They ^^^^ nit picked everything out, and I can't think of much else. I agree that a few of the phrases you used were really confusing, and I had ...

It was only a sliver carving into the sky. I thinks "It was only a sliver carved into the sky." might have worked a bit better, mostly because the wording ...

OMG that's so cool! >w< I think the whole thing with Carmen seemed a little awkward, and almost added like a second thought type of thing. I thinks it's because ...

I am SOOO sorry, but this is one of those worthless "I loved it comments!!!

Shayne asked her arms crossed tightly across her chest I'm pretty sure you should have used a coma after "asked". I tried to ignore her, but as her tapping became ...

Okay well everyone beat me to the reviewing, so I can't think of anything to correct so I'm gonna complement. I hate the cliff hanger!!!!! >.< (Which means it was ...

I really like you're story so far... it seems to have a lot of potential, but like they said before me, I think it could be even better if it ...

Practical, but definitely hot ballet flats embraced her petite feet. I think that there should either be a coma after hot, or mention her shoes before saying how her outfit ...

Wasn’t it enough that he even excepted me? Did you mean accepted? cause excepted doesn't really make much sense in this sentence. Excepted what? Each one pushing the next in ...

Immediately, I placed myself in hunting mode and swiftly inspected the man stood in front of me. Wouldn't "that stood before me" have sounded better? and... that's it. =O I ...

You're story is so interesting!!! I saw when you posted the fourth chapter and read a sentence or two, and then thought it'd probably be smarter if I started on ...

I'm really sorry, but this is going to be one of those worthless "I loved it" comments. That was amazing! It was so... it can't even think of the words. ...

Well I can't really think of anything to add aside from what the person above me already mentioned. :arrow: Other than with this: The song Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton ...

She was wearing a black skirt and a grey t-shirt. I agree with the review above mine that this seems like more of an after thought, and it doesn't really ...