Renn

Thanks, I was planning on revealing a little more in the second chapter but I'll take that to heart. Thanks. :)

Epic...

This is sad but really good, there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes but other than that it is golden. Keep on writing!

This really brought more thought into a subject that nobody wants to think about. :) So kudos, you should write more. This was awsome!

I found this magnificently written and I LOVED the way 'Back to a time with strawberries and cream.' tied it all back together!

I wouldn't so much as call this a story as I would call this a poem, a very good poem at that. I think what solidified the poem aspect of ...

Oh my God, very good turn of events! I think I might love Ely a little bit.

There are just a few common mistakes, mostly unneccisary capitalization and a few verb tense mistakes. Nothing too big. Very good writing though!

Wow.... This was really dark and couldn't have grabbed my attention any more if you tried... I can't wait to read more.

This is really discriptive and I can totally see it in my head! It does seem a little like Iron Hand by Charlie Fletcher... if you've read that. You might ...

A little confusing but that might just be me... It took me a while to get what a Shambler was and whatnot

Wow.... This is really really good! Keep writing more on this plot. :)

This is so good! Oh my God! My only editing tip is that the line 'Clueless replies' did not seem to flow as well as the rest of the lyrics.

Other than a handful of spelling mistakes (which we all have, don't worry) I think this is an awsome beginning! :D

This is really good, but I think it could use a little more explanation: like why is the day ironic?