Ray112

Hey HopelessAbandon, it's me Ray and I'm gonna have the pleasure of being first to review your chapter. If you want me to go even further in depth on my ...

I really liked this. There's a lot more I'd like to know about this like why is there so many mysterious cases in the town? Are they all disappearances like ...

Wow, this is good. The only complaint I have is that on the internet you should space the paragraphs out more to make them easier to read. Other than that, ...

This could be a book. Most I've got to say about it is in some spots you repeat the phrase "I remember" too much. I know you were doing it ...

Ok, this is a little harder to review because there are no totally obvious mistakes. There's maybe a grammatical error there, a misspelling here. There just comes a point in ...

Ok, so I see your attempt to add more description in this but it's almost at the point of trying too hard. NOT that you are. Don't get me wrong. ...

Ok, first thing I notice is you need to start using quotation marks for your dialogue. You've been using apostrophe's this whole time and it makes it really confusing to ...

Let me tell ya something budd, one of the things I like best about your poems is they're short xD but kidding aside. They're to the point and really good. ...

I like this. It tells a story, but I think you should space the lines up a bit. Make the paragraphs less bunched, that way your poem will be easier ...

I like this. It narrates the inevitability of the human condition. All things from the earth return to the earth. We are just like Gold. We shine are hardest but ...

Wow, that was different.I've never read a poem like this before. It was almost kinda creepy, like not saying that your creepy or anything just, it was so personal. Almost ...

This is pretty good Emzee. The imagery is pretty good. It sort of made me feel like I'm falling into a black abyss deeper and deeper in to my subconscious ...

Okay, this can be really good, especially if you're gonna do this as a spoken word piece but there's just a few problems. For starters I think the number should ...

So I like the continous metaphor in this poem. The title is Shadow in the room and the thing the voice is describing is in fact the shadow in the ...

Hey I like this especially because my dad was one of the people who fought in the wars. And also, because I live on a military base I know a ...