Rascalover

the whole thing seems kind of bland, maybe use some spicy words to tone it up. It reaches a new level within us. It can make us rise, command us ...

I dreamed. this seems uneeded and a bit awkward I would try getting rid of it. I dreamed the most beautiful of dreams. My love, you were there too. I ...

I love your theme, and nist if your wording. Im sorry that I am not a grammar naziso I won't scream or even fix most puncuation and such because im ...

Ok so when you asked me to critique this you said everybody seemed to like, was I supose to not? ahah because i absolutely adored it! just a few questions ...

Ok so i wont be nit picky liek the others have because that would just be redunant. You need lots more action, attitude, and description! It was written well, but ...

You see, when my paw died in June all there was left was momma, and she ain’t no saint. Perfect sounthern accent, but I think through the story you lose ...

First, the turbulence. Then the panicking. I distinctly remember the smell of fear in the plane. The smell of chaos. Great beginning. It draws readers in, but doesn't give too ...

Love the story line; you'll have to pm with more! Ok so you're missing a few comas, and tense phrasing, but with a quick self editing you could fix that. ...

Hormones or something. I can’t remember. this could be one sentence if you put a come inbetween something and I. Shelly (my ridiculously inept step-mother) still hasn’t given me the ...

I would love to see more emotion and nasty description!!! For example while they first meet the hideous beast Beth should feel more emotions as scared nervous frightened stiff. There ...

Ok I was fairly interested... I think the beginning should be spruced up a bit. It is merely uninteresting. Your beginning needs to be the one thing that draws people ...

This line seems out of place and unending. like it's unfinished. maybe you should try to rewrite or rephrase this. Thinking of all the ones who will neglect Putting up ...

I guess im the first to review your work! Yay! Ok the last line seems to awkwardly fit to the poem, maybe you should rephrase it or take it out ...

Im here as you requested :) There seems to be alot of critques for this piece so mine will be short and simple. There seem to be some gramor mistakes ...

I examined him the way a lioness evaluates her prey, my body bunched up tightly , and my eyes probing him critically. It wasn’t a feeling of threat , but ...