Quibbler

Okay, first of all, I'm not sure why you made the stylistic choice to not have any punctuation. If it was purposeful, I didn't see the reason behind it. Personally, ...

I love writing , Using a comma here will help this piece to flow. It’s just great. The first two lines of this verse have 4 syllables followed by 3. ...

While I didn't see any glaring technical errors, I didn't care for your piece because your narrator bothered me. I thought she had an air of self-importance about her. So ...

While I admire you for channeling your loss into artistic expression, I feel like this poem is incomplete. At its ending, I really have no sense of who the grandmother ...

I feel like this poem lacks rhythm and flow. I know that it is free form, but even that type of poetry has a certain rhythm to it, even if ...

I agree with wickedwonder's sentiment. Here are my comments, typed up as I read the piece: I feel detached from the characters because the prose is isolated from any emotion. ...

Okay, I'm not a poet myself (I find the process incredibly difficult and constraining, with the power of diction being tenfold in importance), but I'll do my best to help ...