QiGuaiGongFu

Good rythm, good meter... I tend to think the dark death poetry is really overdone. but s'cool I'll leave the nIce dreams peom alone. (which, if you don't get what ...

Im not sure the point of this- to inform us about fashion? It just seems a little unmandated to me. sorry for the excessive delay.

Quite humorous, but it doesn't feel very artfully done. Its good as a joke, but not much else.

While this piece does have good lyrical meter to it, and it would do very well as a song put to music, it is very similar to gothic style poetry ...

I think the indication in that line is, "i was no nerd." despite gramatical inacuracies, it has more effect with that intonation than "I wasn't a nerd." Both are declaritive ...

In that case, I would reccomend a smaller font. :D You could leave it as is, if there is a page limit, actually. I wouldn't know how to go into ...

Semicolons generally don't work while someone is speaking, and since this entire piece is someone speaking, or at least, that's how it reads, semicolons would be too much of a ...

You need a lot of work with basic grammer, punctuation, and spelling. Fix that, and I'll be happy to critique this.

You've been badgering me, I have every right to be a little touchy. You were assuming that I didn't read it... but if you had actually read MY post, it ...

Crysi, for the love of GOD will you stop picking at me!! Yes, I SAW it, i didn't bother to right down every freakin word!! I will say again: LAY ...

(if you could link us, it would make our lives easier.)

I would say don't worry about structure so much, just read through it, and break it where the beat stops. I only read through Jill. While your talent for description ...

Then hang on to it, until you have everything ready. And in the future, when someone is just trying to HELP YOU, don't badger them for doing so. Accept it ...

Then post them together, instead of seperating them and making me believe you just want to raise your post count.

Not bad. So much for not entering the challenge, eh? :)