Pushca

i really, really suck at rhyming, so i can't offer any suggestions... but please do get the last two lines to rhyme. it really threw me. otherwise, i love it.

I know what Gib means, about the singsong-y thing. I don't what makes it like that, but it does have it and it's pretty irritating. i do like the pretzel/robot ...

It was pretty well-done, but not exactly the most original thing of all time. Over all good job, and sorry I suck at critiques.

haha. that is some seriously awesome stuff.

please deal with the meter issue. i am begging you. i could love this poem to death but it really does need some help at the moment.

i read that. i liked it, but it could have been more.

I agree. It could use some editing/re-writing.

haha

omg i love you. ahem.

i don't know what it is about the poem, but i felt kinda chilled and a little empty. i don't know how to describe it, exactly, but invoking this kind ...

i think it makes sense, but it has no flow to it. work on it some more.

wow. it's really good. i wish i had something more than that to say, but i really just loved it. i thought the lenghth was perfect and that the content ...

i thought it was awesome. seriously. the shattered/mattered is a bit cliche, but it didnt bother me. the poem reminded me of how i've felt.

i like the poem a lot, but it has some rhythmic issues. the narrator deffinately has a childlike quality about it, but i kind of like that. if that's what ...