(Untitled)

by lexy

Published November 9, 2006

A lovers heart;
Cut open.
The serrated blade,
drowned in blood.
A lovers hand;
Balled into a fist.
Teeth grinding,
Blood shot eye's.
A lovers face;
is frowning.
a look of deep,
remorce -
of course.
A lovers mind;
Caught in a web,
Of deceit.
False accusations,
a spanner in the works.

Comments & reviews · 8
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lexy
Comment
lexy commented Comment · Nov 29, 2006

thanks, yeah, its supposed to be chilling and from someone who's not stable. Thye want sweet revenge. SO i suppose I could have given it a title to explain that???

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Pushca
Comment
Pushca commented Comment · Nov 26, 2006

i don't know what it is about the poem, but i felt kinda chilled and a little empty. i don't know how to describe it, exactly, but invoking this kind of emotion is very impressive.

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Chandni
Review
Chandni wrote a review Review · Nov 22, 2006

Well I see here nice templates but then again this is so overruled and not unique as we've seen this kind of poetry tons of times. The structure is nice, that's all I can say but hey I guess we all started out this way, can't say I didn't. Try something new that will do good ;)

Cheerios, Chandni

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lexy
Comment
lexy commented Comment · Nov 21, 2006

well actually....if you related to the poem in that way you may see it as depressing WHEN TO OTHERS it means something else. Like dissapointment........... a break up.............. don't just assume its depressing!!!

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Patrick
Comment
Patrick commented Comment · Nov 10, 2006

It seems a little depressing doesn't it.

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RoxanneR
Comment
RoxanneR commented Comment · Nov 9, 2006

I like all the description that you put in this poem, but I feel like Jack too. It's wierd! Does any more of your own writing make you feel like this?

RR*

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miyaviloves
Comment
miyaviloves commented Comment · Nov 9, 2006

This is a really good poem, but made me feel kinda...empty? Your writing is very similar to my friends, its quite a unique style however and your very talented!

Soldier boy jack commented Comment · Nov 9, 2006

your poem gives me a odd chilling feeling in my body i don't know what it is, but i know that its a great poem keep it up please (love jack)



Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
— Pablo Neruda