PsychicNinja

Konbanwa, Audra-chan. You probably get how I crit things now ^_^: “I am the strongest on this squad, and the captain. It’s only smart to annihilate me first.” You might ...

Konnichiwa, Audra-chan. Commenting as I go again: Ayumi followed him up the levels, out the door, and down the hall. Ayumi counted the doors they passed until finally he led ...

Konbanwa Audra-chan. I shall start the night be critting Part 1 of your Chapter 5! As I go: Ayumi nodded. “I am a Sannin.” This doesn't quite make sense. The ...

Konbanwa, Audra-chan. Critting again, but these are getting WAY better as I go along! “If you’re so sure we’ve done anything, then you need a newsflash!” I confusing sentance. It ...

Konbanwa, again, Audra-chan. Critting as I go: Ayumi wondered if the blonde was in secret a woman or not. Haha, lol. lmao. I seriously burst out laugh when I read ...

Before I start my new and improved crit, I have to say one thing. Sumi-chan>You never know, Audra-chan could reveal later that Haku wasn't really her brother or something of ...

Konnichiwa, Audra-chan. I am going to read your story over again and crit as I go along. I have one question, though, now you have two posts titled "Ayumi-Chapter 1"and ...

The first thing I noticed is that you need to separate better between paragraph. You also need to put thoughts in italics. You have a a few spelling and grammar ...

Sorry, I may just be confused, but clones aren't really "born". So that didn't make sense to me. The dialogue was good, and i think the others pointed some things ...

Okay, I liked this song, but not as much as your others. It was okay. I didn't like some of the wording. (But usually I don't like songs about someone ...

Good job, Alice. I liked it. I don't really get why you repeated 'sugar glass' again for this poem. It didn't seem to fit in, so I don't think you ...

Hm, I liked it, Alice. The repetative part in the chorus you repeated too much, I think. I thought you did a good job of connecting 'sugar glass heart' and ...

Hello! I'll just crit this as I go along: Its triangular hull was pitted from many years of Imperial service. "Not anymore," Kale muttered. He touched the hilt of his ...

Hey! Ok, I usually don't crit poems... I like the contrast, and to me it kinda seems that you drag the poem too long. This is just my opinion. :D ...

Hey! Audra told me to comment, so here! I shall crit as I go along. July 9, 2007. It was a foggy morning and two men were walking into the ...