Prosithion

VERY wordy. I think you could have gotten the point across with less words, althought they really painted a picture. The lines were very irregular, and I think it could ...

Very well done, but I think it didn't follow the title. Well written and good regularity with the lines.

Great poem. I think it was well written, but myabe try making the lines a bit more regular. Good title and good poem. It really gets across the picture.

uh... Well, I'm not a big fan of poems about sex, but I think it was written well. I think the title was a good one, but I think maybe ...

no offense, but it isn';t the best poetry in the world. I've read a lot better. I'm not really sure if you're being sarcastic, but I think there is a ...

fixed it ^_~

AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Snoink, I thought that you were scary before, now my fear is verified. It was unique, bit over the top unique. o.O

Sharty, I think maybe poetry isn't your thing. This poem is sort of disturbing. what's with the dodododododo?

I agree with Dave. I think that this would sound really cool put to music, but try making it flow more. It's really cool that you decided to do lyrics. ...

ahhh... thanks Imp, good crit^_^ I'll look into the stuff you said. I don't have time right now ^_~

what change?

thanks, guys.

thanks, MH. :)

I thought that it was good, but like dream deep said, it kind of lost steam at the end. Other than that, I liked it a lot. _/)_- Reas

That was so stupid that it was funny. You have an uncanny knack for doing that. You should make a book of all these. Keep writing them, and I'll keep ...