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Re: Take Care
Hi there! This is fan-freaking-tastic!! Ah-hem *coughs* Yeah, I loved this. Your description was perfect, you really made me feel sorry for Charlotte. Just a few little nitpicks I noticed: ...
Dec 19, 2011 -
Re: Watching Me
Hey there, Wow, this took my breath away!! It is amazing. Your writing flowed so well, the language was superb! It was deep, and really honest, like it came straight ...
Dec 19, 2011 -
Re: Being Alone
Hey there! Nice job :) This was simple and beautiful. Your description was nice, and I could picture pretty much everything. I liked your dialogue too, it wasn't forced or ...
Dec 19, 2011 -
Re:
Hi there! The only glaring problem on this is I see no connection between what the narrator thinks of Wren and what she thinks of Arnie. It looks like a ...
Dec 13, 2011 -
Re: Love's power
Hi there :) Okay, so I love the idea. It seems really sweet and romantic, but I didn't like the way you told the story. You just told us everything ...
Dec 13, 2011 -
Re: The Doll On The Shelf
Hi there! This was really, really good. It was so beautifully written, so unique and interesting. It sounded like it came from the heart...which, I'm sure it did :) I ...
Dec 13, 2011 -
Re: Love Notes
Hey there! I loved this. Firstly, it's true! It was very beautiful, very well-written, it flowed so well. You've got some real talent :) Sorry I can't be more helpful, ...
Dec 13, 2011 -
Re: When Your Heart Beats (A short excerpt)
Hi there! Can I just say I love your title? I don't know why, I just do. It's so cool. :D Great job on the first few paragraphs, they caught ...
Dec 13, 2011 -
Re: Peace!
Hi there! :) I knew it had to be done. But why did it have to be so difficult? I think this 'I knew it had to be done' part ...
Dec 13, 2011 -
Re: Nobody else
Hey there :) I love that song!! Ah-hem. So yeah, the only thing major wrong with this was the grammar, and all the mistakes I noticed have already been pointed ...
Nov 5, 2011 -
Re: Maybe.
Hey there, OMG this was beautiful! I really, really, really loved this! It flowed so well, and you really made me feel for your character, I was almost in tears. ...
Nov 5, 2011 -
Re: Show Me The Way
Hi there! :D How come this is in the Short Stories section? Shouldn't it be posted as a novel? Alrighty.. Milliseconds overcome centuries, and sure, milliseconds could kill a centuries ...
Nov 5, 2011 -
Re: First day at school
Hey there! I liked this :) Apart from a few nitpicks (coming up), I liked the idea. The main character seemed like a foreigner, so the whole-new-world thing from a ...
Oct 30, 2011 -
Re: McDonalds Man
Hi there! Priceless here for your review :) Okay...um...was this supposed to be a comedy? It didn't sound like a serious story (The Fast Food Curse? Seriously?) and yet, it ...
Oct 30, 2011 -
Re: Earthquake
Hola! Alright, right in the very beginning, I thought there was something a bit contradictory. The teacher waves a lazy hand at me, beckoning me to the front. Okay, so. ...
Oct 1, 2011
