PhoneticallyAccurate

Hey :D this is one of my old story that i have been working on , some of you may have already ready my intro, and gave me some feedback, ...

I forgive you not, Athena. For what you've done to me. There shouldn't be a period between those lines. An unbearable decay of skin and blood, a walking Gorgan corpse. ...

I liked this. I liked how raw it was. The imagery is pretty good, as well, just be careful of not using too many adjective-noun pairings, which can be monotonous ...

The moon hovers above a crater that was born from my wavering fist , as your spiked caramel hair creates a halo, your blanketed fingers carved sweetly into a twist. ...

While I do think that you've used an interesting concept, it might be better if you only used the backwards writing for one stanza. It's a chore to have to ...

Somewhere in the deep wet of your eyes, I feel like this could be made a bit stronger, and not so forward. "Within the depths of your glossy eyes" for ...