PhoenixBishop

Author's note: The title may have changed from 'In the Name of...' to 'Gaea', but don't be confused. 'In the Name of..' is the first part of the story, detailing ...

I know what you mean I can never find anyone to read my chapters. So I'm going to be nice and read this whole thing and give the best feedback ...

This is good writing only a few comments. " Jason ..." So that was the kid's name. Jerk. "Ms. Kaylee is not an item that needs inspecting. You can face ...

Your stuff is getting really good each chapter gets better and pulls me in deeper. A few suggestions I was going to miss Katie’s birthday. “ I would put this ...

The others basically covered everything, but I think you can be more descriptive of the Heads. Not just physically or names, but Bobby's feelinga bou them as a whole not ...

"Hey Babe." said Jake as Jenna got into the car. He gave her a quick kiss and started driving down the road. "You look beautiful." said Jake, smiling at Jenna. ...

Most of the time I hate first person stories, but your character has so much life that it's good, and I'd like to read more. I'm torn on the revelation ...

I think your good at keeping your reader attached. You are good at showing characters personalities through dialuge, my only critique would be is your usage of tags. Substututions for ...

Your description is amazing. That's my biggest problem I'm not always able to describe what's in my head, but you explain so you can actualy see it in your head. ...