Pernicious

Hello, Charlotte1, I'm Pernicious and I'll happily give you a review. First of all; I'm impressed! For an eight year old to write such a fabulous story - I assure ...

Hello, Loreena ;)! Oh, and welcome to YWS :D. I'm Pernicious and I'll be happy to review this for you! I will highlight mistakes in red, then highlight things I ...

Love it! Extremely unique, and at least fifty percent of the terms you used in this story were exquisite and repeatidly drew me in more and more. It was impossible ...

I agree with the previous comments, this is an extremely well structured and well typed story! Personally, I love these types of stories. Riddles at first, then throughout the story ...

First of all, with a lot of tweaking obviously, I think I would read this. It's tense and rather thrilling, but it could still use a lot of detail. I'm ...