Periwinkle

Hey, Ashley! I read this yesterday, but I had nothing to point out, but now I do! I. NITPICKS And now he is gone and I am alone. I don’t ...

I. NITPICKS Jealousy. It rages inside of me. I feel that if people look me in the eyes, they can see a fire burning. You start out with something promising ...

I. NITPICKS Rain fell woefully [this isn’t the greatest bit of personification - it’s best to leave out the adverb] , [I think you should use a dash here] the ...

I. NITPICKS Sam could hear it gorging on the last unfortunate person dropped into The Pit, and she knew it was she almost her turn. She had studied the order ...

I. NITPICKS Gael paced [s]]back and forth[/s] in the throne room, in front of a large tapestry that had a map of Kaiyleer sewn into it [Re-word: in front of ...

We took our most recent victims just last night. They were a young couple, probably in their early thirties or late twenties. Took a long time to finally corner them.[I ...

I. NITPICKS The librarian has just closed the library, telling me she'll be back at 8:30 tomorrow morning, as she shuts off all the lights except my little lamp in ...

I. NITPCIKS I’m sitting here writing this freakin letter and there’s really no point. I don’t want to be here. I guess all of this writing stuff is supposed to ...

I. NITPICKS “It’s okay Mom; I’m not afraid to die,” the boy whispered. The hum of the air conditioner accompanied the sound of his mother’s shifting around nervously. Better said ...

I. NITPICKS Oh God, why today of all days?!That damned Mary Rose had to drop in on the day I didn't want to see her the most. Eric Briggs and ...

Hey, ashleylee! What a perfect day! Sunlight streams from the sky and warms me to the bone. I feel the warmth all the way down to my toes. Nothing can ...

Kareena swished her long, violent purple hair out of her eyes and pulled down the curtains in her room. She squinted as the blinding sun beat down on her as ...

When I woke up in the morning, I thought it was just another ordinary day. You know, wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, get picked on all day, and ...

I. NITPICKS "The first day of school." I said quietly to myself with a sense of dread . My name is Louis Nightshine. I'm your typical 13 year old eighth ...

Bright colours flash before my eyes; a thousand smells overwhelm my nose; vivid tastes assault my tongue; and the sounds – the sounds are like a million choirs; the chorus ...