PenNPaper

Hey there, i really liked your story, especially the dialogue which sounded very realistic. However you could seperate them instead of bunching them up into one whole paragraph, which makes ...

Hiya Aristotle, PenNPaper here :D I would like to say that I liked your story, your style of writing. However, I really wanted to read more. Even for a prologue, ...

Hi, PenNPaper here To start off, you need to write more, otherwise readers wouldn't really know what was going on. You had some problems with the first sentence. That cold, ...

Hi, PenNPaper here Okay so this isn't really a review or anything, just to make it clear... I liked the story, was captured from the first line. The setting seems ...

Hey Mist, here's a review for you! The wind was rushing by me as I run through the trees to the safety of my home. First mistake, 'run' should be ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! and I tried to hold it open but it was to strong Wrong form of 'to' here. It should be 'too'. Dang it! The door ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! Me and my dad where riding in the midst of a great thunder storm. I think you wanted to say 'were' instead of 'where' right? ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! They arrive home. It’s late You can have this as one whole sentence. He doesn't want him Although I perfectly understand this statement, and I'm ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! until tomorrow morning. but her stickiness Always a capital letter after a full stop. Remember that. her stickiness and better will stopped her from doing ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! "You are such a jerk! Did you know that, Devin Sullivan?" Britney's pale, index finger jabbed my chest defiantly. "Sir Jerk-A-Lot!" Not that I'm confused, ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! down." he It should be a comma instead of a period. As the next word is in small letters. scotch from it's bottle You are ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! were gonna need to speak with you It should be 'we're', not 'were'. In the distance I could see the boy from before patting Gates ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! we must go tomorrow.” she if you put a period there it should be a capital letter after that. Okay I liked this story but ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! As I leaned against the crate of ripe kiwifruit, time passed me by This sounds a little weird, the part about 'time passed me by'. ...

Hi, PenNPaper here to review! How could it be so hard to pinpoint an escaped convicts tag You said 'an' meaning that there is only one, so there shouldn't be ...