PaperCrane

Hi thanks for that review, I like a critique I can sink my teeth into. It's very in depth! First of all I'll explain that this is not a short ...

Hi Stephene, Thanks for your review, I'm glad you like the story :) Just to say 'the truth will out' is not a typo, I did mean to say that. ...

Hi Ben thanks for giving me such an in-depth review. Its quite perceptive and I hadn't really thought about stuff like including the protagonist's thought pattern in the narration, that's ...

Hi thanks for your reply - yes this is a continued story, I should have explained that at the beginning. I''ve written loads of different bits of the same story, ...

Hi Lee, Thanks for critiquing it - you can tell I wrote that on the train! I don't know why I switched from past to present to past again... very ...

Hi Flow, thank you so much for you review, I'm amazed you spent so much time on it. Hugs to you! Yes I agree the first paragraph could actually be ...

Yeah, the first line does have another meaning which isn't clear. To turn away from the light means to turn towards darkness, or towards sadness/evil. I'm using sun instead of ...

Thanks, yeah I did mean neighbours, I forgot the plural. I like the first line simple though x

Fair enough, seems that nobody got this poem except my boyfriend who I wrote it for, so I guess I'll forget it and he can keep it to himself if ...

'I break like glass' could be better?

Thank you so much! I also know I can do better than this. Descriptions aren't my strong point, I'm so desperate to get the story out, I tend to say ...

Hi Angela, Thanks so much, everything there is related to this is posted here... I'm writing the story in no particular order, so nothing follows on or leads up to ...

Thanks Rememberme! I'm doing my best here :)

Hi thank you so much for your review, I know it's not really a review but it's amazing to get some positive feedback. I really wasn't sure if this was ...

I've never read that, maybe I should do!