Palip

Very good story; I like it, especially the way you indicatd that the 2 "seperate" stories are linked at the end. Thanks for uploading such a story; hope that you'll ...

Great piece of writing...only mistake was : "Elizabeth is first to speak, “Thank you.” ". This sentence must be rephrased: "Elizabeth was the first to speak". Otherwise, this is a ...

i cant believe some of u say eragon and harry potter are amongst the worst books, theyre some of D BEST BOOKS ever to be written. Anyway, I don't read ...

To be honest, I enjoyed the STORY. But that's the problem with this piece. A lot of story, and you simply skim over the descriptions and details. Things that you ...

All in all, I really enjoyed this. However, this doesn't make any sense and doesn't fit in with the rest of the context: Her hair fanned out behind her as ...

I have one word: WOW. When are you going to become an official writer? When you decide to do so, please contact me! If this was done in 20 minutes, ...

Hey there Rosey! I hope you don't mind an inexperienced user of YWS to comment on your story, but I had to review cause so far, this is one of ...

I must say you did a really good job( I'm still novice but...) and I am really lloking forward to seeing more of your work! Please, continue writing! By the ...

It is a very good story..however, as Griffinkeeper pointed out, I got a bit bored as I continued to read, to be honest. However, that is just my humble opinion, ...

It's a good story, but you really need to describe the people into big detail. How old r they? Where is the story taking place? How old is Jessica? What ...

You have one heck of a story here....you mind creates unique imagination the kind of which rarely is ever seen. However, you could do with giving more detail of the ...

Is this just the first chapter? Are you going to continue writing? If so, what's the name of the story? P.S. You could do with erasing d bad words for ...