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NumberSeven

  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The scheme of death

    Heya, I'mma reviewing :) Cons first :( I don't think you need the prologue. You sort of revealed too much by mentioning the serial killer. I think it takes away ...

    May 27, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Distance

    Hello! I'm reviewing :) Duh. First of all, I think that this story is in the wrong category. It might be better suited for the Romantic Short Stories category 'cause ...

    May 25, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: DELETED

    'Ellooo! Cons first! :( Kammal didn’t turn to see his stalker until they were directly behind him. Then he spun around and punched them in the face. If I'm right ...

    May 17, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Dakota's Diary Pg1, Ch1 *Edited*

    Haro! Thanks for looking my short story over. Here to review upon request! YAY! Cons foist :( My wedding was a very short seven days away, and there I was, ...

    May 17, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: betrayed

    Helloo! Here we go... Cons first :( A few grammar mistakes. Proofread! Errors in spelling break the flow of a story. You start off with an inside look into Tabitha's ...

    May 14, 2010
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: The Slaughterman

    Helloo! Let's jump right in. Cons first! :( A couple grammar mistakes. They weren't big, so no point in pointing them out, just make sure to proofread so you can ...

    May 13, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Slave Screams

    Kekeke, yes I'm reviewing. >:3 Okay, Cons! :( Couple grammar and punctuation mistakes. Proofread, woman! You know me and grammar, though, so it isn't a big deal. His foot pressed ...

    May 13, 2010
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Where The Music Is

    Hiya! Nice story :) But, Cons first! :( There were occasional grammar mistakes and misused/misplaced punctuation. Proofread and check spelling. Crack! I looked up a beam was in mid air ...

    May 13, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Toast

    Hiya! Thanks for your review on my short story, btw. Now I'm returning the favour! Cons first :( The sun was rising, birds were singing outside, and there were only ...

    May 13, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Bridges

    Hey. Nice story. I agree with the people above about being overdescriptive. Your writing is eloquent, but overdone. However, the vocabulary in particular did not irk me. I caught the ...

    May 12, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Gingerbread [Edited]

    Hiiii! Niiice, a fairy-tale twist. With a horror spin on it. I approves :D Anywho, Cons first! :( ...family: mother, Susan; father, David; and two twin children, Harry and Grace. ...

    May 11, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Frozen Rose - Part 1 (Rated for swearing.)

    :D HIIII. Uh, personally, I disagree with Pheonix on a few things (will explain below). Cons first! :( You mentioned the chai tea four times. The first two are okay, ...

    May 11, 2010
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Hero's Sacrifice, Pt 1

    Hallo! I like Zelda, fun to play. Woot. Anyway, I'm not here to comment on if your story is too Zelda-y or not Zelda-y. I think you've got that figured ...

    May 10, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Chapter 1: When Love Comes Knocking

    Hey, I feel kind of bad ConCrit'ing 'cause the comments before say they really like this, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I've got pros, too :D Cons: ...

    May 8, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Prologue

    Hiya! Cons first: Grammar errors - proofread! There are a few things that you repeat that 1) are redundant and 2) make it uninteresting. You mention that she hangs in ...

    May 8, 2010


Nothing says criminal activity like strong bones. ;)
— Magebird