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Re: The scheme of death
Heya, I'mma reviewing :) Cons first :( I don't think you need the prologue. You sort of revealed too much by mentioning the serial killer. I think it takes away ...
May 27, 2010 -
Re: Distance
Hello! I'm reviewing :) Duh. First of all, I think that this story is in the wrong category. It might be better suited for the Romantic Short Stories category 'cause ...
May 25, 2010 -
Re: DELETED
'Ellooo! Cons first! :( Kammal didn’t turn to see his stalker until they were directly behind him. Then he spun around and punched them in the face. If I'm right ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: Dakota's Diary Pg1, Ch1 *Edited*
Haro! Thanks for looking my short story over. Here to review upon request! YAY! Cons foist :( My wedding was a very short seven days away, and there I was, ...
May 17, 2010 -
Re: betrayed
Helloo! Here we go... Cons first :( A few grammar mistakes. Proofread! Errors in spelling break the flow of a story. You start off with an inside look into Tabitha's ...
May 14, 2010 -
Re: The Slaughterman
Helloo! Let's jump right in. Cons first! :( A couple grammar mistakes. They weren't big, so no point in pointing them out, just make sure to proofread so you can ...
May 13, 2010 -
Re: Slave Screams
Kekeke, yes I'm reviewing. >:3 Okay, Cons! :( Couple grammar and punctuation mistakes. Proofread, woman! You know me and grammar, though, so it isn't a big deal. His foot pressed ...
May 13, 2010 -
Re: Where The Music Is
Hiya! Nice story :) But, Cons first! :( There were occasional grammar mistakes and misused/misplaced punctuation. Proofread and check spelling. Crack! I looked up a beam was in mid air ...
May 13, 2010 -
Re: Toast
Hiya! Thanks for your review on my short story, btw. Now I'm returning the favour! Cons first :( The sun was rising, birds were singing outside, and there were only ...
May 13, 2010 -
Re: Bridges
Hey. Nice story. I agree with the people above about being overdescriptive. Your writing is eloquent, but overdone. However, the vocabulary in particular did not irk me. I caught the ...
May 12, 2010 -
Re: Gingerbread [Edited]
Hiiii! Niiice, a fairy-tale twist. With a horror spin on it. I approves :D Anywho, Cons first! :( ...family: mother, Susan; father, David; and two twin children, Harry and Grace. ...
May 11, 2010 -
Re: Frozen Rose - Part 1 (Rated for swearing.)
:D HIIII. Uh, personally, I disagree with Pheonix on a few things (will explain below). Cons first! :( You mentioned the chai tea four times. The first two are okay, ...
May 11, 2010 -
Re: Hero's Sacrifice, Pt 1
Hallo! I like Zelda, fun to play. Woot. Anyway, I'm not here to comment on if your story is too Zelda-y or not Zelda-y. I think you've got that figured ...
May 10, 2010 -
Re: Chapter 1: When Love Comes Knocking
Hey, I feel kind of bad ConCrit'ing 'cause the comments before say they really like this, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I've got pros, too :D Cons: ...
May 8, 2010 -
Re: Prologue
Hiya! Cons first: Grammar errors - proofread! There are a few things that you repeat that 1) are redundant and 2) make it uninteresting. You mention that she hangs in ...
May 8, 2010
