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Re: Recruited: Chapter Two
Yeah this is an incredible piece of work, but as Boogie97 said, the last dialogue is a little vague, so I would change that somehow. From the rest of your ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: 14 years, 364 days.
A really in-depth piece of work. I was really touched, even though, odds are, it's not real. Still, touching is what is usually aimed for in the creative writing industry, ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: N/A
Beautiful! I love the depth of emotion throughout the whole chapter. The length, too, draws me in. I enjoy seeing chapters that are longer than say, 500 words, though those ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Fakebook Chapter 8
This was good. I've read a few other chapters from Fakebook, and yes, it's really coming together. You've got the storyline down quite well, and your characters are suitably developing. ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Watching Me
That was sweet. What I liked about it was that it's so heartfelt, so touching and deep. The repitition for the first two paragraphs is a little strange as it ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: The Lunatic
I loved this! It's quirky and different! Really nice! As wewinwelose has already picked out, there are a few minor mistakes, but they can be fixed easily. you use a ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Glass
I agree, that was really, really beautiful. Well done! Despite my juvenile age, I recognized something in my great-grandfather right then. He was still a proud man, alive in every ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: My Christmas Tree
Wow. I seriously have you to thank for my Christmas spirit this year, really! This line? "I could open lots of boxes, but I won't find it in a gift. ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: The End.
this is why I'm a Christian! But yes: different story: moving on. That was beautiful. Really. Since I've starting reading the poetry pieces on YWS, I've grown to appreciate and ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: inspector woolsome chapter 1
Hey sockmonkey! This was nice to read, and as has been previously said, it does have a good plot concept. BUT, there is a couple things you need to watch ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Raiden Storm: Universal Assassin
Hey AlucardXD, This bit (and I'm copying the whole thing, because, frankly, it's phenomenal) here blew me away: Over three-million years ago, seven sister planets were formed from combustive asteroids
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Babylon
Abyss, you amaze me. Everything you write is so poetic and...beautiful! I loved this so much! This bit here: The wind seized to blow, the ghostly whispers disappeared, The trees ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Where Am I To Begin?
Where am I to begin my love for you? Is there even an amount of words to use? Four? Sixteen? One hundred? Maybe just two? How is it possible for ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Could Be Stockholm Syndrome: Chapter One
Hey there! I loved this! My favourite paragraph: this one here, was amazing: She slammed the door behind her hard, and ignored the wood slightly splintering from her force. A ...
Dec 14, 2011 -
Re: Change of Plans
Hey again, I really, really enjoyed reading this one. You have a knack for writing it 'like it is'. Cheerful, colourful and blunt. This one piece of dialogue made me ...
Dec 14, 2011
