Nate

From your blog entry, it sounds like you don't do poetry very often, if at all. I'm not a poet either, lol. The major problem with the poem is the ...

There appears to be no content on the third and fourth pages, and the fifth page appears completely blank. While this may be a literary device you have employed to ...

This seems more like a personal essay or a blog entry more than anything else, so it's hard to comment on anything other than to give my own reaction. Fortunately, ...

Why did you quote your own work? If you were bumping, just be patient. It can take some time to get a review, and December 25 is the slowest day ...

Color you tenebrous indeed. A great poem is built in layers. You have the surface layer that is understandable to the casual reader, then you have subsequent layers that only ...

Eden is 11? I know you said you don't want to change the dialogue, but you're going to have to; Eden simply speaks too well for an 11 year old. ...

Capitalize those I's. If it was intentional, capitalize them. If it was unintentional, capitalize them. Always, always capitalize the letter 'I' when left by itself. These are interesting poems; the ...

Since this is a rather long piece, I'd suggest heavy reviewing; that is, you should go out and review a lot of works by other people. Not everyone will return ...

This belongs in poetry, so it's in the right place. Still, it is one of those pieces that doesn't quite comfortably fit in poetry, but definitely doesn't fit as a ...

I reviewed another work by yourself, and I like this one a lot more. You said that you proofread this one, and it shows. I also like the general idea ...

You don't disappoint Jack. I found this to be well-written, and your imagery & tone is excellent. The poem comes across as melancholy and wistful. The speaker is captured well, ...

Proofread! Just by proofreading, you'll put your work above 90% of the other stuff that gets posted. You want to read your story at least twice before posting it; that ...

Proofread. a book who's page For a poem as short as this, you really shouldn't have spelling errors or simple grammatical mistakes such as this. In fact, I'm not sure ...

I thought it was pretty good. Just a few things: The last line in the first stanza doesn't go right. For one, it's too abrupt; you're shifting from being figurative ...

anti-pop hit the nail on the head; I'd take everything she said to heart. First, I'm moving this to "Other Fiction." It doesn't belong in "Non-Fiction" only because it's made-up; ...