Myth

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * She had his mittens on, though they were obviously too big for her – the boy had to wrap the ...

A fair-haired, pale maiden with pools of blue and full red lips. Pools of blue what? I’m not a fan of Sleeping Beauty (or fanfiction). I also did not think ...

I’m sorry but I have no idea what this is about, I got the idea this person has a problem and then I just didn’t get it. I apologize for ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * Whenever Ashlyn had to sit in the office, she always found the pictures on the wall. ‘found’ was oddly placed, ...

Green = Comment/Correction Blue = Suggestion Black = Review * There was always a shortage of food in the town, so there was very little chance that there wasn’t left ...

Green = Comment/Correction Black = Review * The corridor was brightly lit with silver and gold lanterns welded upon to the warm tan color of the walls . The ending ...

Green = Comment Black = Review * The child ran its tiny fingers through Shaitha’s silver-brown hair as Shaitha talked to another mother. Babies don’t normally run their fingers through ...

Green = Comment Black = Review * In 1987, right when the First Intifada started, that was the excuse my mother was looking for, so she could bring us back ...

I recognised one of them, and remembered how he was, though again, I didn’t remember his name. ‘how’ = who? * I love the idea of an alternate world. You’ve ...

Green = Comment/Correction Black = Review * “What kind of demon?” “I'm dream demon.” Wouldn’t it be: I’m a dream demon? The thing sat down, and the old rickety chair ...

Green = Comment Black = Review * “Is the war really over Dorothy? Is it true?” “As true as anything will ever be”. Is Dorothy the narrator? I was a ...

Green = Comment Black = Review * I’m not sure if I’m awake… I believe my eyes are open, but how can I be sure? I see that man again… ...

Ah! I really thought she would get taken away but I like how you’ve twisted it so that she stays—did her father do it deliberately? I think you could have ...

Green = Comment Black = Review * Next to be placed in the tomb were the two bodies of the lord’s deceased brides. Their earlier deaths had each had their ...

It was really the beginning that drew me in. In one sentence you managed to fit in what the short was about, and I could tell from the start the ...