MyrddinDerwydd

The story itself is really cute, and like most of the others, the perspective of the horse is fun, because we all kind of do that in our heads sometimes, ...

Really quite good, though I'm not sure why you dropped to three lines in the second to last stanza. The only thing that is a little jarring, and it is ...

Be aware that I haven't read the first version, so apologies if I repeat anything that was discussed there. Definitely has a lot of potential, and the theme is great--I ...

Why does this angsty, ridiculous, "I need a therapist" theme come up so frequently in teen writings? It's disgusting. The same story could have been told without the guy being ...

I love the theme, however, since you put a sustained effort into maintaining a rhyme scheme, the lack /irregularity of the meter detracts noticeably from the work. There are some ...

The plural of thesis is theses. Overall I think the idea is great so far, I agree with what most of the others have said about it needing some refinement ...