MooCowPoop

YOU'RE FIRST TIME WRITING AN ESSAY?! Wow! This is really great! Good job! :D

Thanks. Yeah... I kind of have a problem with the cliches... hehe... :[

Okay. :D

Thanks for the advice! :)

Thank you very much for pointing that out! Yeah, I agree (lol) with the part about the use of "I"'s. I'll see what I can do about it.

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I like this poem.

Thanks! Yeah, I realized that I was using "I" too much, and I wasn't sure how to change that. I thought that I was going to make this story as ...

Hmm... Maybe there's some way I can make it sound less "girly" or "cheesy". Thanks!

How does it sound "twilighty"? Is it because of her crush on the guy? Any tips or suggestions on how to make it sound less like that?

Thank you!

Thank you ! That really helped. I am going to work on this some more, however, I am not going to turn this into a longer story. Although it may ...

It was short and simple. The message was executed clearly. I liked it and thought it was funny. It sounds like something you would read in Alice and Wonderland.

@CowLogic: My brain just exploded. So if that happened, people would believe that Satan's a.k.a. God's rules would be the right things to follow, no matter how immoral and corrupt ...

wow, this captures a lot of what I feel sometimes. This is a really great poem and I especially like how you mentioned that you can't be sad because if ...