McGregorUK

It's very well written though at points i was going into rambling. It's very descriptive which i like and it makes her feelings very apparent, giving a strong sense of ...

Thanks for the heads up. I did think that but i thought the sentences would be waay to short, but i'll give it a go xx

Cheers, i'm a bit crap when it comes to grammmmmer :) x And i'll post the next bit tonight xx

Cheers, i'll just change it now :) xx

Don't give up, this is really good for a 14 year old, you can only get better. I've only just started and i'm 16, don't just give up on it ...