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Re: Chapter 1: The Murder [EDITED]
I see. You seem to have it all figured out. Just make sure to set it up through your story/ Also you had groups of students right? With people like ...
Sat Jul 05, 2014 12:19 pm -
Re: Don't Look So Forlorn - Chapter 1: Humble Beginnings
Don't let clarity suffer because of style, that's what I was trying to say. If the reader is asking questions, you need to rethink the style. And no, wherever it ...
Thu Jul 03, 2014 6:53 pm -
Re: Don't Look So Forlorn - Chapter 1: Humble Beginnings
Just to clarify a few points: Minutes are fine. It%u2019s just how the two sentences follow each other that%u2019s iffy. Especially in that second sentence. I can%u2019t describe it, it ...
Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:50 am -
Re: Rifted - Chapter VII - Fallings Apart
I know how annoying those scenes are. You rewrite and rewrite and it just wont come out right... In that case just let it rest, give it time, come back ...
Wed Jul 02, 2014 11:25 am -
Re: A Porcelain Lullaby
Just make more post in the forlder, one for every chapter. Shouldn't be that hard to do. True you'll need some points but yeah. The main issue is that no ...
Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:36 pm -
Re: A Porcelain Lullaby
Too long, cut it up. Else I read a bit and it sounded good. It's just too long of a post and that makes it hard to read in a ...
Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:27 pm -
Re: The Border of Light, Three
Thank you for the review. Only one little thing. It is first person, but she never got hit, he did, and I can't exactly narrate his pain. Her punches weren't ...
Tue Jul 01, 2014 1:28 pm -
Re: The Border of Light, Three
Thank you for the review.
Tue Jul 01, 2014 1:26 pm -
Re: The Remaining Survivors: Prologue
It's ok. You can't expect to be perfect right off the bat. That's why we keep writing no matter what :P And as I said, sometimes taking a break is ...
Mon Jun 30, 2014 11:49 pm -
Re: The Border of Light, Two
Thank you for the review.
Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:03 am -
Re: The Pact, Chapter One, Part Three
Your fight scenes are actually pretty good. I think I said that. It's just the character thoughts that get in the way sometimes. As I mentioned, thought bubbles stand out, ...
Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:13 pm -
Re: The Border of Light, One
Not sure I get what %u201Ctopic idea%u201D is. And yeah, it's clumsy. I am indeed trying a new style (not agsty teen believe it or nor) and I admit I ...
Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:09 pm -
Re: The Reaper In Black -- Chapter Nine
Yeah, I do tend to sound harsh, ignore that it's just how I... well sound. As for bodily fluids I meant the attention you give to blood, snot, vomit, that ...
Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:17 pm -
Re: Right & Wrong Chapter 1
The description is nice. Nothing against it. It just comes across as too fatty because you cut up the stories and present them in pieces (I realize now that I ...
Sun Jun 29, 2014 12:37 pm -
Re: Stargazer Prologue and Chapter 1
Oh, I see. Sorry I didn't get that. In that case, they were harping too much on it, using nick names like that is nice once in a while but ...
Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:59 am