MamaLama95

Look, this poem has a lot of potential - good idea, with a strong theme and powerful wording. However, the structure is atrocious, unfortunately I'll have to agree with some ...

I like the idea of this, and I think it's fantastic you let out your fears and nerves int a poem - reminds me of myself ;) Although I really ...

Powerful, definitely thoughtful and a lot of interesting and compelling imagery. I don't think 'summery' is a word, but I could be very wrong, so I apologize if that's the ...

Alright, I think this is fantastic, but I do have some reservations as to the use of so much enjambment. I don't know, maybe that's just me, but I've never ...

Very moving poem, however I think you slightly overuse the one word per line thing at the beginning, but apart from that, your grammar and use of punctuation was good ...

Although I think lad123's reply was bordering on harassment, I will agree with him in the sense that I didn't think this made too much sense. I know it's meant ...

I think it's a great idea for a story; however, I'm going to be picky. Your use of grammar and spelling at times is a little off-putting and it can ...

This story has a great idea, good grammar, and in general is written really well. I do think you could incorporate more fluid description, but that's me being picky. In ...

I liked the deep hidden meaning in this poem, but I think it's a little sloppy. You try to use a rhyming scheme, but it just doesn't flow very well ...

Normally I'd probably attack you for lack of proper punctuation or grammar or something, but this is perfect just the way it is I think. Very short and sweet - ...

I think you should make it more clear what happened. I understand you want to make it mysterious, but mysterious and confusing are two different things. Be more clear about ...

Unfortunately I have to agree with the aforementioned comments. Really cliche, bad attempts at being romantic and in pain at the same time - you could do something with the ...