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Re: The Heart of a Career Part 1
Hi omnsiyus! This is pretty long, so I'm only going to review the first and second chapters right now. I suggest that you post it by chapter instead of by ...
Sep 13, 2012 -
Re: Alyasan Chapter 1
Hi cm! So, I thought that this was really interesting. I love the Tennyson quote that Phoenix can see on the wall. I thought that was a really good beginning. ...
Sep 10, 2012 -
Re: deleted
Hi thatoddkid. I really liked this! Your descriptions were very thorough, and I loved the image of the boy with his paper crown. Only his dark curls yield—only his dark ...
Sep 9, 2012 -
Re: Angelus Prologue
Hi! I really liked this. The opening image, with the character walking through the swirling fall leaves, was very cool. I could definitely imagine it. There are a few things ...
Sep 4, 2012 -
Re: Sampson
Hey Cspr! Maybe you should hang out in your bathroom more often, if you get cool story ideas like this there. :) You weren't kidding when you said that this ...
Feb 24, 2011 -
Re: Blind Shot
Hey! This was really interesting. I love the whole concept behind it. There were a few little issues that I noticed, though: The day they had all been training us ...
Feb 23, 2011 -
Re: Circle I (ii-Finn)
Hey Stella! :) I'm sure you don't really want nitpicks, but I noticed a few little things: But the murders were nasty, inhumane, frightening. This word doesn't seem to fit ...
Feb 23, 2011 -
Re: Circle I (i-Luke)
Hey Stella! I really liked this. People are always writing about characters who can see ghosts/dead people/various frightening things, but you made it seem fresh and not at all like ...
Feb 22, 2011 -
Re: Here There Be Dragons - 4
Hey Ranger! Another good installment. I like the relationship that's developing between Jot and Chance. It seems very realistic, despite the fact that one of the characters is a dragon. ...
Feb 3, 2011 -
Re: Sparrow
Hey careless! This was certainly very interesting and unique. There was a little house on a quiet street in a quiet town. This isn't the strongest sentence for the beginning ...
Feb 3, 2011 -
Re: The Swamp Witch: Chapter One
Hey Tenyo! Interesting story. It almost reminds me of the horror movie "The Village," with the unknown monsters lurking in the woods and the children forbidden to go near the ...
Feb 2, 2011 -
Re: Here There Be Dragons - 3
Hey Ranger! Another great chapter. It wasn't quite as amusing as the other sections, but Jot is still very funny. “Oh my, this isn’t going in the direction of incest, ...
Feb 2, 2011 -
Re: The Color of Freedom
Hey Blue! I really liked your story. I don't know why no one else has critiqued it yet, because it's quite good. From what I've seen, definitions of flash fiction ...
Jan 27, 2011 -
Re: Here There Be Dragons - 2
Hey Ranger! I read the first chapter of the story but couldn't find much that hadn't already been covered by the other reviewers, so here I am! He stared up ...
Jan 26, 2011 -
Re: Nightmares, Bath Towels, and Lemonade
Hey Frayed! Cool story. The title sparked my curiosity right away. I must still have one foot on the other side because the bathtub I’m lying in feels like pins ...
Jan 25, 2011
