Lynlyn

Woo, you are so brilliant! Sorry it took me forever to get to this. Can I kidnap Raven? She can read me bedtime stories. Please? *wibbles* Jiggity and others pointed ...

Sorry this took so long to review - it hits a little close to home right now. She was just sixteen, When she jumped into that car. Mama didn’t know ...

Most of the things I thought of when I was reading this have already been mentioned (Suz is so thorough!), so the things I'm bringing up are take-it-or-leave-it suggestions. This ...

I agree with the ninja - I think "pic" is a little informal, sounds a bit like chatspeak. "Crap" hits a bit hard too, but maybe that's what you were ...

One review, as promised! ;) The first thing I'm going to suggest is a book. It's called The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: A Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, ...

Since you already know I love this story, I'll get straight to the critiquing. ;) (Also, I love your name... it makes me giggle.) ‘I can breath under water.’ ‘No.’ ...

Yeah, Zimmy! \m/ Rock on. There are a lot of things I like about this poem, but the main thing that's dragging it down is that a lot of the ...

I think Jab nailed most of the grammatical things I was going to mention. My remaining nitpick is in the first stanza: Did you know that your songs are empty ...

Ooh, neato. Loving the Alice reference. – thwock scribble scribble scribble siiiiigh scribble scribble whiiiir – help I'm not a big fan of the onomatopoeia - or, actually, the multiple ...

1) Sorry it took me so long to reply to this. I didn't want to review just after finishing my dinner. 2) In hindsight, that was a good call. :wink: ...

This is an exciting piece! I really like the way you used the weather to set the mood. So just a few grammar things - I apologize if any of ...

Not really my style, but parts of this were pretty hysterical, I've got to admit. The main thing that bothered me was "okay" being condensed to "OK." I like the ...

I really like your story. I had a dream like this once, where I kept waking up over and over within the dream... except it was about kickball and not ...

This is Chapter 1 again, but i rewrote it. Oops. I think I posted on the old thread while you were posting this one. Some of my comments still apply, ...

Wow... reading through Prok's review, he nailed pretty much everything I was going to say. So I heartily second those suggestions. My suggestion for you as far as the it's/its ...