tick tock.
Time is running out
I’m the White Rabbit immersed in academia
haunted by competition
jaded
must go on.
tick tock –
Time is flying by, so fast, so fast -
is it really worth it?
night after night after day after night
– thwock scribble scribble scribble siiiiigh scribble scribble whiiiir –
help
tick tock.
deadlines approach
behind that epic heap
– back and forth back and forth –
schizophrenic Bliss.
Time is running out, Time is running out –
tick tock –
faster, faster you must go, and better you must be –
stress pumps through my veins
hefty anvil
stemming the flow
– can’t breathe can’t breathe –
what for?
for Nothing
tick tock.
mustn’t stop
come so far, i mustn’t stop
so…
I blunder
hands outstretched
curiously
tick tock.
pull yourself together, you crazy fool –
Sanity
bends over
eyes bloodshot
brain charred
– creeeeeeak –
must go on.
this meaningless existence,
this mad dash toward success,
this imminent disaster
off
until
Eternity.
– tick tock must go on –
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Woah! I don't read a lot of poetry, but this was absolutely beautiful. The subtle hints to Alice in Wonderland had me hooked and brighten up every time I noticed something. The spacing and use of italics added so much drama and such a special aesthetic. The capitalization of "Time", "Bliss", "Sanity", "Eternity" and "Nothing" made those words stand out and added an extra aspect to your poem that I absolutely adored. The last lines were definitely my favorite part. The way you stopped using the "tick tock" in the last few stanzas and then ending with "tick tock must go on" created a beautiful effect.
Really great, keep writing!
Woah! I don't read a lot of poetry, but this was absolutely beautiful. The subtle hints to Alice in Wonderland had me hooked and brighten up every time I noticed something. The spacing and use of italics added so much drama and such a special aesthetic. The capitalization of "Time", "Bliss", "Sanity", "Eternity" and "Nothing" made those words stand out and added an extra aspect to your poem that I absolutely adored. The last lines were definitely my favorite part. The way you stopped using the "tick tock" in the last few stanzas and then ending with "tick tock must go on" created a beautiful effect.
Really great, keep writing!
The use of onomatopoeia in this piece was nice. It helped bring out the drama and made it interesting to read. As the other posters have said, your Alice in Wonderland reference was very clever. I also think this is a poem that can be interpreted in many different ways, but in a sense I feel a lot of readers would be able to relate to this.
Very well done. =D
Ooh, neato. Loving the Alice reference.
I'm not a big fan of the onomatopoeia - or, actually, the multiple vowels that are strewn in there. What's the "whiiir" for?
I do, however, like the isolated "help," as that's probably my favorite part of the poem. It's so desperate, just floating there without any punctuation.
I wish it were curiouser.
I think this is the weakest stanza, because it breaks form with the direct address to "you." I think of "pull yourself together" as a colloquialism - try making up your own phrase, I bet it would be a lot more vivid. "Crazy fool" could also be something more specific. The more specific you are with your words, the more universal your poetry will be.
While I liked the idea and the execution, I feel like a lot of this relied on stylings and composition while there wasn't a lot of attention to the rhythm of the poetry and the sound that the syllables make together. Even if it's not meant to be spoken aloud, try reading it that way, just to get a feel for how the words fit (or don't fit) together.
As the above reviews have said, the subject matter is definitely something pertinent to all of us! In that respect, everyone here can probably relate. Thanks for sharing it - sometimes we all need to just kick back and stop worrying about everything.
I am DEFINITELY a tragic victim of junioritis.
Lord help me.
Thank god junior year is OVER.
.
I agree with Rykun7, and I can also relate with same situation. People are going off to college and it's a scary thing for some. These years determine what we do for the rest of our lives. I believe that this poem can be different for anyone. It makes me think about my family and how I just want to stay with them, but it's a love/hate relationship. I am ready to leave, and go on to new things, but at the same time I worry to how they will turn out. I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Also the onomatopoeia you used worked very well with the poem. I felt like the tick tock was very repetitive, but a clock is indeed very repetitive. Over all, I liked it. Good Job.
I can really relate to this poem! I'm headed off to college and my future, and that's exactly what I'm reminded of when I read this. I love the use of onomatopoeia in the poem, since I don't always see it used very often. Also, I liked the clever reference to Alice In Wonderland, and I think it added to the time running out effect. Great job with this piece!