Loose

Interesting, definately intersting. Although the main point of this piece is to tell how you almost died, I had a bit of a hard time with the other paragraphs. The ...

Wow. I'm not one for action/adventure fiction, as you classed this piece as, but once I began reading it on the home page, I just could not stop. This was ...

Ye know I luff you, but I have a bone to pick. The first sentence, the hook and the vital point in a story (along with a start, problem, climax, ...

I don't know. It seems a bit "Read the plot without slugging through 200+ pages" to me. Might just be my own opinion. I think that these people who wander ...

Ok, the first thing I noticed? You don't seem to know how to use ellipses. In all the places you used them, it would have been more appropriate to use ...

Being a general "this-is-my-life" work of non-fiction, this is good. It isn't sob-story-like, as you clearly don't want sympathy. However it did seem a bit... what's the term... shallow? Like ...

Uh, here's a tip: Stick with the original font. This one you used is annoying and could drive readers crazy! As for your opening sentence: You do know it's meant ...

This was a good story about your Grandmother and you, although it lacked background. There seems to be little history written in here, and very little personality traits. I'm assuming ...

Dis iz da awesomezorz! HAHA! Just joshing! ... sort of. This was a good poem, but unfortunately I couldn't read it. If I can't stand it, or if it has ...

Wow Linds, I really like this, and I'm not even a poetry person! Although the "Tell me" was a bit repetitive, the names following ("my love", "My sweetheart" etc) seemed ...

Wewt! Part 14! **addicted** I hate to say it, because it makes me seem like a pathetic critiquer, but this was great. I can't find much wrong with it... I ...

This was a good piece, but as Perf. said, it was a bit of an anticlimax. It needs a big finale, because the whole discussion of love and marriage feels ...

It's a good piece, but there are a few minor details in there. Perhaps re-read to check your sentences are complete and typo-less. I don’t know what I would if ...

It might just be personal taste, but your starting line doesn't sound right. "Your mother... she's... died" It makes sense, but it's one of those sentences that you have to ...

This was a little short, and a liitle too-much-information, but still good. Thing that bugged me: The Main character (don't hate me but I forgot his name), says "...because you ...