LittlePrincess

Those who had stayed were the ones as empty inside as the bar was to leave until told or were waiting on the chance of someone walking in and thereby ...

I'm reviewing :D First of all, many spelling mistakes, you might want to read it over before posting it (that will give people less obvious things to tell you about ...

I like the beginning, it's a very creative idea and also it draws the reader in. Maybe set the scene a little bit, like all the boys crowded around the ...

First of all, "whisper-yelled" doesn't really sound good or make much sense. Maybe say she whispered (because I assume thats what she is doing) but she strained her voice urgently. ...

I have to say that I absolutely love this poem. The title is griping in that it's so vague yet interesting because it doesn't really make sense (I hope that ...

I agree with Nova in saying that I hardly see this as a poem. I like the idea and I think it could be made into something good. Also you ...