Lilyy03

I don't know a lot about poetry, but... I found the "2" a bit distracting, it might be better to write "two". Also, use a spell checker and watch out ...

An intriguing little tidbit. ^_^ weren't’t Weren't. You use a lot of commas, and I think a few of them create comma splices. In other words, they should be separate ...

Hehehe. First off, I salute you for managing to keep that rapper voice throughout. :P Though there are some inconsistencies--part of the time you have "th", part of the time ...

I was just thinking about the word "in cognito" this morning. o_O So of course, I had to read this. I like the first paragraph a lot. It somehow seemed ...

(Blackmore's Night...! ^_^) Very nice work! It was engaging and well-written and I can't find much to point out that could be improved. Except for this one bit of dialog: ...

Auron’s hand was numb, a cold fear was spreading through his body as he clutched at the gun in his hand. He felt nothing, not even the small spider crawling ...

Overall, the story was interesting and well-written, but... I found the first paragrpah confusing, so it wasn't really a hook. Lots of names, little explanation of who they were. Who ...

I agree with Crysi that it's rather small to critique.. But I'll say I did like your first line. The rest is quite repetitive (you say her name is Alilessa ...

Catalina looked up at the young boy beside her. "Young boy" made me think that Catalina is older then him, which apparently isn't the case... And I think 17 is ...

I think you've done a really good job with portraying the different characters with different attitudes. This was enjoyable to read. :) As soon as she appeared from the Forest ...

(I'm reading this without having read your previous chapters...) It seems quite interesting. And yay, a talking fox! :D Just a few things, since I don't have that much time: ...

I think the first paragraph is a bit of an overload. The reader is just being told all these things, when it would be much more memorable and interesting to ...

Awww. :( This had the potential to be utterly corny, but it wasn't. I liked how the memories were described both as they actually were, and with the layers that ...

I just read the first version of this--you've made some good improvements. :) But here are a few things I noticed that you may or may not want to tweak... ...

Wow, this was very good. Unique and original (and good job on fitting that picture into the story!). I liked how you described the whole process of the painting and ...