Lilicia

This is good but there's one thing that doesn't work: after saying she loves most people it doesn't work that she should be meloncholy - maybe you should explain why ...

Hi! This is a sweet story-line but I think that there's a big lack of emotion and character development. I didn't feel very close to the main characters - you ...

This is good! It's interesting and original. I think all your errors have been pointed out - my only advice is not to be so repetitive in the first paragraph ...