Lethero

Mourning doves filled the dark skies with its their cries and alighted on the sill of a bombed window. 'Their', not 'its'. Surprisingly, she saw it fit – for she ...

Shaylee had been in a coma for almost four months, her family was beginning to lose faith in her. This is a run-on sentence. Put a period where the comma ...

We hung our legs over the edge of a springtime of wisteria, Your word choice in this confused me. What are you trying to say in here? And I know ...

an announcer was left waiting as a New York Rangers player hovered in front of the Montreal Canadiens’ goalie for a moment, Canadian, not Canadien. End Notes: You totally lack ...

Bending her knees, she looked over at Korai -kun and nodded an apology. "I'm slowing us down again." Japanese honorifics are unnecessary outside of dialogue, and then in dialogue it ...

I lingered in the darkness tonight, I kept falling, I kept myself in the unknown. In the emptiness of my shut eyes I focus on my hands, they tingle, this ...

First off, put spaces between paragraphs, makes it easier to read. This is the time when the city is run by the thieves , and the cut purses, and all ...

Sitting on the desk in front of me was a mini blue calendar that read the date in giant, bold letters{b],[/b] August 28. Use a period or semi-colon instead of ...

“Papa, why is there a line on the land?” Is she talking about a map, or a physical line in the land? “Why do we separate? Wouldn’t we be stronger ...

Hope you like it! Really rough draft, needs a lot of editing. You should've edited in the first place. Our job isn't to catch all your mistakes, it's to find ...

This is part one, so it doesn't kick off that much until the next part (if I decide to continue). If you think it is awful, I will instantly forget ...

Firstly, separate the paragraphs if there is more than that big one in the middle. Deaf but for the heart wrenching screams that seemed to be coming from no where ...

I peered through the telescope, tapping the zoom button and the planets suddenly were right in front of me. She must be rich, because that's an expensive telescope, considering telescopes ...

Put spaces in between paragraphs. It makes it much easier to read. The adult male looked down at his lover. This is kind of over doing it. the tall male ...

Put more spaces. This: Pain exploded in the back Strykker’s head as he flew backwards into the wall, small glass jars and chalk coming down from the shelves onto him. ...