Lena.Wooldridge

Hey! I stalk my way around the city. The word "stalk" just isn't working here for me. It feels like a heaven. Take out the "a" here. A gulp of ...

I just read your other two parts, and this is going pretty well ^^ My only complaint is that a boy who was theoretically born in the early nineties would ...

Wow, I really hate Karen already. If this is what you are going for, then nice work! If not, then try not to make Karen such a bratty little know-it-all. ...

I just read the first couple paragraphs... Okay, the object you described would be a bullet cartridge. They are the shiny gold things used in rifles. However, they do not ...

Okay, you have some errors with verb tense in the first paragraph. Due to events unknown and undecided, a man unknown and undecided was stranded in the desert. How he ...

You really need to improve the grammar in this. It makes it hard to read. Just proofread it and you'll see that like half of your sentences don't make any ...

Um, okay, I really don't understand this at all. It lacks plot. This is a basic summery of the plot you have: "This guy who has no family gets sick ...

Ello, I'm totally gonna review this whole thing for you !! NITPICKS :arrow: You have so many issues with commas. Everyone has issues with commas, especially when they are just ...

Hey, I'm going to address your punctuation issues, especially the ones surrounding dialogue. “I want a kitten”, - she said commandingly. What is up with that dash thing? When you ...

I'm not the biggest fan of emos (sorry) so the reason why anyone would want to write a story about them is beyond me. also, I totally thought the guy ...

You have many punctuation issues. For example, there must be one space after every period or comma. You should have already known this from reading books. Also, after everything with ...

Hey Sara. I haven't seen you around YWS much. It's always nice to see a new face! NITPICKS Rocks and roots make my steps uneven as they hit the ground. ...

Heya! :) Did I anticipate seeing my old friends and teachers? No. Anticipate means "think it will happen." So your character doesn't think she'll see any of her old friends ...

Hey! Overall, this was written very well. Its really sad that all her friends died :( However, I think you should emphasize the fact that Maria got shot, cause I ...

Lol, you totally got this idea from Seven Pounds. The idea is compelling, but it would have been more emotionally gripping had it been more original. If you haven't seen ...