Lena.Wooldridge

I have to agree with the other reviewers. This does sound like an essay. The point of a prologue is to get the reader interested in your story, not to ...

Heya Jak, Just thought I'd take a look at this :) First off, its much more readable-looking than the first one you posted. However, the title needs some work. Grammar ...

Hey! Here's a couple funky things: on the kitchen work surface Why not just say "counter"? :?: What is the gender of the MC :?: What is the name of ...

Hey Mars! :arrow: Is it possible to knead bread dough without using your hands? kneading bread dough with her hands This is a Captain Obvious kind of a deal. :arrow: ...

I agree with Peanut, the extra periods after the dialogue aren't needed. Secondly, if he was being arrested by the government, they would usually call him by his full name, ...

Hey AJ! Grammar :arrow: There is a lack of commas throughout this story. Here are some examples: It was the first week of summer and she already hated it. Well ...

First off, I have to say that I totally relate to trying to write memories from being drunk! I've tried to write so many stories, but they always turn out ...

Grammar :arrow: Punctuation errors occur throughout the story. For example, The girl choked out, "Everyone one at school is laughing at me because of my pointy ears. This should read ...

Hey, Layla! I'm excited to review your next part :D Grammar :arrow: Punctuation. In the second paragraph, it says: I see everyone in dark shade of colors; blue, black, purple, ...

Grammatical Errors :arrow: You have some minor grammatical errors involving punctuation, I'll give you some examples from your story. Come to us, Valerie, a deep, hypnotic voice reverberated in my ...

1) First off, the ending of your character's dialogue should be a comma (,) instead of a period if the next part says "so and so said). For example, in ...

Dear Jake, I opened this post, truly believing that I would read it. However, I soon realized that it contained no less than thirteen ginormous paragraphs. I almost had a ...

breathing in the sweet smell of break. If you insinuating that it's a day before winter break, you might want to clarify, because I was confused. little freshmen dressed in ...

Humans are curious beings:inquisitive, sensitive, rash. The foolish, stupid creatures think they are superior over all else, engrossed with themselves. Perhaps what disgusts me most is their belief th

Sara was back on the field, Normally I'd say "back in field". Only instead of Ashley, Mike, Alyssa, Jess, and Tom This introduces a lot of characters, all with common ...