One upon a time there was a girl named Analisa. This girl, unlike everyone else, had pointy ears. All her childhood, people would make fun of her and call her an elf. The girl tried as hard as she could to ignore what they said and continued onto her dream, to be a actress. When people learned of this they laughed, for they thought that no one who had pointy ears could become a actress.
One night, Analisa lay in bed, crying herself to sleep because the kids at school had been particularly nasty that day. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong honey?" Her mother whispered as she petted the girl's head. The girl choked out: "Everyone at school is laughing at me because of my pointy ears. They say that someone with ears that ugly can never become an actress!" Her mother hugged her and said,
"They only say those things, because, deep down in their hearts, they are jealous that you are unique and strong. You are strong enough to ignore all those hateful words each day, and that is what makes you unique, not your ears. They are also jealous that you gave a goal in life, a dream, while many of them are just trying to get good grades and impress their classmates. They don't have a dream, like you. That is why they say those things."
"Really, mom?"
"Really."
Then the girl lay her head back down on her pillow and fell asleep with a smile on her face.
Many years later, Analisa became an actress and slowly worked her way up until she was getting lead rolls. Every day, as she walked to the store, she would be stopped by people who wanted her autograph. One day, she was approached by a meteorologist in a suit, carrying a briefcase. The man made his way sheepishly to her and said, "You probably don't remember me, but I used to go to school with you. I just want to say that I am sorry for all the things I said to you back then. I was just jealous of how you were so strong." The woman smiled as she remembered the words her mother had said to her all those years back, as she said just three words, "I forgive you."
Moral: It doesn't matter what's on the outside, because its what's inside that counts.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Yeah, I know. I'm trying but this week has been hectic for me, with relatives coming over and last minute shopping.
Your very welcome
Remember, that for every thing you post, you need to do 3 reviews of other people's work! I've seen that you have been posting a lot of things, but not reviewing much.
Cheers
-Lena
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for helping me! This is a rather old piece of work, so I knew there would be something wrong with it, but not that much! XD So thanks so much for helping me!
Grammar
Punctuation errors occur throughout the story. For example,
This should read as: The girl choked out: "Everyone
oneat school is laughing at me because of my pointy ears..."Sentence Structure and Word Choice
Plot
Overall
It's sweet, although clunkily written, but neglects to carry a real message.
PM for questions,
Cheers,
-Lena