Leja

I think that it reads easier now, thanks to the verb tenses. A big improvement because I can absorb the imagery easier (and I do like the imagery alot :D). ...

I'd like to see where this goes, honestly. I sense romantic interest vibes rolling of Dmitri at Nora and a rather jealous Dee in their future. Nora/Dmitri: hehehe Dee: ... ...

There were a lot of commas, which distracted me a bit. I like the placement of words, but unlike the dream/painting described, there don't seem to be many layers here.

Oh, this looks just lovely, Cal, as always!

This is lovely, Kit! I like the cleverness and (especially because it's short) the lack of punctuation, and :grr: can't find anything to critique ^_^

The "big secret" is the fact that Catharine has lied about the will, and has stuck her dirty hands around so that Samantha cannot have the money. Ah, I see. ...

It might help if I knew the Japanese between the stanzas, but it all seemed rather obvious to me, like if I read it a few more times, I wouldn't ...

I sort of wonder what your intent was? Why did you wrote it? What feeling were you trying to evoke? Hmm, I will certainly be keeping that thought in mind, ...

Thanks for reading, gadi; if you read up seven or eight posts, you'll find a link to Wikipedia explaining the dancing terminology, though if you're still curious, PM me and ...

Here are some of the people I imagine the characters' voices to sound like [dunno if you know any of these people or not]: Nora: Christy Carlson Romano Dmitri: Dick ...

Huh, maybe it is an American thing; "bus tables" is the job of the "busboy" (but they're not technically called that very often), it just means to clear the plates ...

--- I kinda forgot a scene above...:oops: Actually, I'm still not sure if I want to put the scene where it's currently slotted because I wanted to leave the first ...

Kivan noted the first drops of rain without alarm, merely puling up the hood of her cloak and maneuvering her pack so that it hung within the waterproof folds. Latrichia, ...

Considering... I like the word change in the second line, but I want to cling to the the following line for at least a little while longer. Thank you for ...

Punctuation ameliorating ^_^ Though I wonder why you didn't use the same punctuation marker each time, unless this is only the dictionary-defined way of marking an aside.