Lauren2010

Hey Paul! Noticed you had more of this posted up now, so here I am to read/review! :) I enjoyed this ending to the chapter, and didn't catch any nitpick-y ...

Here for part two! II What's up with the sudden breaks in the story? As far as I recall there wasn't a "I" in the first part of this chapter, ...

Hey Paul! Have I told you before how much I adore your style? Because I definitely do. You're a wonderful writer, and I always love reading your stuff. Anyways, let's ...

Okay, last one! I really think that Darren gave in waay to easily there. If I were him, and this were my daughter, then I would be beating Travis senseless ...

Back again for another review! :) It was almost like love at first site. love at first sight ;) We didn’t need alot of time to let our relationship build, ...

Hey aj! This was a nice chapter! The tension between Drew and Travis was good, a nice start to the building of some sort of relationship. What I really liked ...

Hey aj! Wow, I did not picture Travis as twenty one. It would benefit the reader if there were more of a description of him in the first chapter, because ...

Hey aj! A lot happens in this chapter, doesn't it! I have to say, I don't really see how they can reasonably convict Travis. I still don't see that they ...

Hey aj! Back again! :) So I'm finding it really strange that Travis has been more or less living in the interrogation room. It seems they would either let him ...

Hey aj! So I really liked this chapter. It does a lot of the things I had suggested in the previous chapters, particularly once Garry entered the scene. Also, I ...

Hi aj! Here to review again! I don't have a whole lot to say that wouldn't be re-iterating things I've already pointed out in previous chapters. I'm still not a ...

Hey aj! Back again! There's something so...unrealistic about Darren. He's a cop, yet he acts so...unprofessional I guess I would say. It doesn't make sense to me what he, and ...

Hey aj! This chapter was just a whirlwind of dialogue wasn't it! :P It's all very important and good, and the dialogue itself is relatively realistic (though there were some ...

Hey aj! I really enjoy Travis' "voice" as a character. It's definitely the strongest aspect of the story thus far, and a great thing to build a story around. However, ...

Hey aj! I'm not typically a fan of prologues, but I liked this one a lot. It does everything that a prologue should do. It introduces the character, and what ...