This is no longer a book!

by aj14

Published July 13, 2011

In No longer a book!

Sorry. This isn't a book anymore. It wouldn't let me delete the book. So I just did this.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Lauren2010
Review
Lauren2010 wrote a review Review · Jul 31, 2011

Hey aj! Back again! :)

So I'm finding it really strange that Travis has been more or less living in the interrogation room. It seems they would either let him go home, but keep a police watch on his house, or put him in a jail cell (probably more likely) since they did arrest him this time. He's suspected of murder, but that's no reason to treat him inhumanely. ;)

Also, it seems like they should have had Travis cleaned up and put into a nice suit or something before sending him into the court room. Anything to make him as presentable and non-murder-like as possible.

The whole court scene comes off as pretty unrealistic as well. Everything down to the way that questions are phrased has a set way to be done, or else it will be overruled (I participated in Mock Trial in high school, and it was crazy all the ways we had to do things). So I suggest doing a bit of research into court proceedings to smooth some of that stuff out.

I don't have much else to say concerning this chapter. I'd like to see more prose surrounding the conversation, to give more personality to the people involved. Right now it's mostly a string of dialogue without a lot to support it.

And, cliff hanger! Off to see what the verdict is! :)

Keep writing!

-Lauren-

User avatar
Ardor
Comment
Ardor commented Comment · Jul 31, 2011

OMG IT'S A CLIFFHANGER! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!



Very well; I hear; I admit, but I have a voice too, and for good or evil mine is the speech that cannot be silenced.
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness