Lauren

I haven't got so much to say because it's been pretty much covered. However, I am just dropping by to say: WOW! Your writing style/technique is exceptional... truly. Flawless, in ...

Hi, little miss military brat :) Just returning the favour. I liked this a lot. It was written in a fun, light-hearted way, emphasizing that Leila and Jonathan are young ...

Hi. I like the opening. It gave us a good idea of the MC's character. However, I have some problems with it. The main thing is that it's more action ...

Whisperer, you've got some good ideas but some things are seriously holding you back. That's unfortunate because I can see the potential just waiting to come through. Let me just ...

Hi. Though you have not reviewed anyone, I'll still review because I was in the same boat a month or less back. Anyway, nice to meet you! Here we go: ...

Hi, Claire. I'm glad you posted. This was your coursework from last year, no? I'm impressed, you'll be claiming-indifference-but-secretly-pleased to know. Okay, so you've still some issues with the la

Hi. I like it, I think it's a 'nifty' idea. The tone, too, was realistic and was effective in giving the character a so-called air. There was one typo I ...

This is quite dramatic stuff, Thea. I like it, but it is no as strong as your other story. This one's weaker because it relies too much on feelings, rather ...

First of all, hello! Second, I would just like to say that you are great with imagery. (Woot!) Here is an example: The rain pelts against the window like bullets ...

I liked this, though it is not to my typical taste. I think you started out with some effective descriptions. E.g. (a memorable one) abundant with twinkling stars and a ...

Hi! I thought this was very good. You have a knack for creating tense moments, eh? For a short story it had good impact - it did not seem rushed ...

Hello :) Well, it's clear straight away that you have some issues with grammar, spelling and the ol' punctuation (or maybe it was a one-off thing), however, I will ignore ...

Hello :wink: I won't echo Saint Razorblade's nit-picks, I will merely comment in an over-all sorta way. It's very, er, descriptive. You seem to analyse each and every thing that ...

Hello there! :) For years now she had cared For years now, she had cared Although that is often a matter of opinion... Commas are never obligitory in some cases, ...

Hi. I think this is really well done - Henry has a true personality, we can see that, rather than appearing one-sided merely to fit the protagnist. One thing though ...