LamaLama

Muchas Gracias. Thats actually exactly what I needed to hear. My original intent with the intro was to make it longer, and try to chronicle the entire myth of what ...

You'll probably want to change this to either third person or past tense. The first person present tense rings of online RP boards which do not by any means equal ...

I like this. There isn't much more that I can say about it. It shows a lot of tallented writing. Lots of understandable descriptions, good emotion, very well done. Good ...

*hem* No. The hug was for a job well done, regardless of what was in the poem.

I read this over again, post your changes, and I swear the room just got brighter. It makes so much more sense now. Good work, you've earned a hug. *hug*

This reminds me of Def Poetry Jam. It has that kind of rythm to it, and it reads somewhat angrily, to me anyway. Pretty good.

Intriguing. The stylized word flow is nice. I'm a big fan of the second stanza.