Kyuubi

HEY THERE! First and foremost, nice job. I loved the imagery you used to portray, at least for me, a sort of Steampunk world. Not quite a Victorian steampunk dealio ...

Hey there! You have a pretty unique idea here and that's a good sign. My only issue is a smattering of various issues. For example, the last paragraph: "I agree ...

Wow, that was possibly the longest piece I've read in a long time. Anyway, I have to say that there are some people who can write a better vampire love ...

I agree completely with Mysty. The description you had going was great but as soon as you carried it to the dialogue...POOF!!! It was gone. I think that hurt the ...

I'm in the same position as Seana and Ace on this one. It seems as though you're rushing into the story with very little information for the reader gain. There ...

I'm slightly confused by the character. Not that they're at a bad start for the story but you don't go into much detail about their personalities. For example, this girl, ...

Hola! This is the first crit I've done in about a month, so forgive me if it's a little vague. So, onto the writing! Oh and before I forget, I'm ...

seems it was picked apart pretty good. Many of the corrections have already been made so I couldn't really find anything that wasn't already found. Anyway, I thought it was ...

I like what you have so far. However, like everyone else has said, this is short. If you develop it and add more, this has potential to be a very ...

I liked the beginning a lot. Like BeckFletch said, it does have potential. Although, I would have liked to have seen the first draft so I can see where it ...

I thought this was interesting..like everyone else but that just means it's good. I liked the way the story flowed. From the time she was running to when she was ...

It certainly was short for a prologue. I liked it but it could have been longer. Now, I'm not much of a reviewer for fantasy fiction but I'm going to ...

Good job. I really grew attached to the character during this story. I don't know how, but I did. As far a the critique goes, here it is. 1.) The ...

I am going to agree with Kobain, I'm having a hard time seeing this as sci-fi. However, that has no merit on my critique. So, here goes. 1.) I thought ...

I liked this. I found it a little confusing at first but it all made sense towards the end, like everything. I do have a question though. Why just the ...