Kylan

That was pretty good. I felt myself immediatly drawn into your story. Your dialogue was good, your characterization was good, and you just managed to pull off your backstory; a ...

Very entertaining. Your imagery is superb; something that seems to be missing in a lot of pieces here on YWS. A lesser writer may not have been able to pull ...

I really don't know what to think of this. It's almost got a poetic layout and cadence, but you've posted it in a fiction forum and the piece itself feels ...

Wow. Pretty scary. As always very well written. I'm getting to be quite a fan of your writing. Gritty, succinct, yet artistic and flowing. Though this story wasn't very unique ...

The smoke, settling from the explosions, merged around the v ast number of rub b le piles. A solider, wounded, hides behind the wall, using it as shelter. He looks ...

Hate to sound ignorant, but I didn't understand this piece. As always, the poem itself is brilliant - I've always loved your poetry - but this one went over my ...

This is good. seems to missing something. Everything is happening so quickly, like you shoved this story into a washing machine on put on fast-cycle. Slow down, girl. I want ...

M'kay. This could use some work. Your thoughts are all over the page, causing little coherency, and, as the others have said, you've got a psycho story line. What? A ...

Good job, here. You had me intrigued for the majority of the story; a combination of realistic dialogue and high-octane action. Some of your descriptions, however, are difficult to follow/read ...

This was a nice start. At least it was refreshing. The stuff that winds up in the action/adventure forum is generally fantasy outcast pieces and poorly written teenager driven prose. ...

Ah, Sade...the original sadist. I find it somewhat disturbing that you wrote about this guy, at least from a speculative point of view. I'm also kinda jealous. Why didn't I ...

Well, I have to say I enjoyed the first portion of this chapter more than this one, but as always, very adeptly written. However, here you have some lag time. ...

I will not read or critique any of your work because you disobeyed a critical rule here at YWS: you flooded a forum with numerous pieces of your work within ...

Yes, Scotty, the length is fine. I scanned the first version of chapter one - the version that was twelve pages long - and decided I'd get around to it ...

You actually managed to pull of your rhyming quite well. I was impressed. For the most part, things flowed smoothly and coherently. However some of the wording was strange and ...