Krupp

I think the only thing that threw me off was the space between the two stanzas. It didn't think it was really necessary...but then again, who am I to say ...

I think the first part, the part before the past becomes present tense, is the best part of the story. Maybe later you could expand a tad more on the ...

The mere thought that there could ever be a lord of pigeons is quite humorous...what would the world be like then, I wonder?

Chapter 3 Sam Young was up early, in the gym. It was a ritual he’d been performing for years and years, since he was fifteen. Get up early, run six ...

I thought it was a bit short, but that's not really important... The scene was great, but perhaps a bit more description through the five senses would lift the terror ...

Chapter 2 That night, it was full house in the bar. Fred’s was the place to be if you were of age. It was also the place where Stan Pullman, ...

Some of the best lyrics are simple, yet effective because of it...

Hello, welcome to YWS! :) Firstly, I'd just like to inform you of the rules and guidlines. (at the top of the screen under "About". Please try to keep your ...

Don't know if someone already said it up there, but the only problem I had was how vague the story was. I know you're supposed to "Show, not tell" but ...

Chapter 1 Tara Fields sat down in the Starbuck’s, her coffee in hand, a copy of Kate Chopin’s The Awakening in front of her. She loved the little coffee shop; ...

Let me see...this takes place in the 1950's. This guy is a journalist, as I mentioned. He dropped out of Vanderbilt, went to New York and he'd been working as ...

The poem wasn't really corny...I was writing stuff like this years ago. It's not a problem if it's scattered all over the place, either. Write it how you feel it ...